Xmas Ragers for a Not-So-Silent Night

Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is to be front row at a rowdy house show with the speakers turned so high we’re in danger of getting a noise complaint. (Oh, and I guess you could throw in some earplugs, too. But the nice concert ones, if the elves make them).

Christmas is a time of peace and joy, but sometimes you want something a little louder than harps and sleigh bells to get in the festive spirit. Baby, it’s cold outside, so turn up the heat with these edgy Christmas tracks that are as hot as chestnuts roasting on the fire.

“Candy Cane Children” The White Stripes

Add an extra bit of red to the White Stripes and you have got festive, grungy rock so good you will probably listen to it year-round. The White Stripes’ tried-and-true textured guitar tone layered with off-kilter drumming and searing vocals creates a memorable Christmas track. 

The lyrics are a little dark—“Oh when Christmas finally comes / And nobody’s got a gun / And you think it might be fun to get a new toy / Think again, boy.”—but the juxtaposition of the moodiness with the cheeriness of candy canes is what gives this track a depth not usually found in Christmas songs designed to be played in the background of TV commercials.

If you want to get extra into the Xmas spirit, subvert tradition with The White Stripes’ animated yule log video linked above.

“Last Christmas” Lucy Dacus

Wham!’s “Last Christmas” is an enduring holiday favorite that has dominated the Christmas top hits list since it was released forty years ago this December. Like most classics, it takes a pretty incredible cover to coax listener allegiance from the original. Lucy Dacus has done just that with her edgy take on the song.

Her slick, cool spoken delivery of the bridge’s lyrics is a departure from George Michael’s crooning that makes the track feel like her own, and an energetic electric guitar riff adds a punkish feel. While the original song has an unforgettable 80s synth-pop flair made for walking down a cold city street at night, hands buried in the pockets of your excessively shoulder-padded jacket, Dacus’s take is perfect for head-banging in your Santa hat.

“Christmas With the Devil” Spinal Tap

If you are rocking around the Christmas tree to this song, instead of Santa coming down your chimney, Krampus might pay you a visit. But given the cult popularity of Christmas horror movies like the snowman slasher Jack Frost and, that might be your vibe.

Who better to hark the herald angels scream than everyone’s favorite fictional metal band Spinal Tap? The song, released as a single in 1984 and featured in the film The Return of Spinal Tap, imagines Christmas from the devil’s point of view. Sure, the song is a parody, but it fits perfectly with the innate campiness of Christmas. Go ahead, deck the halls with chains and leather.

“Sweet Christmas” Shonen Knife

Shonen Knife, a Japanese female pop-punk band formed in 1981, is credited with heralding an international audience for Japanese pop/rock. (Think of them as the godmothers of Puffy AmiYumi and the kawaii metal band Babymetal.)

The trio is known for their peppy, 60s-influenced songs that are a sonic mishmash of The Beatles and The Ramones. The eclectic result creates a signature sound perfect for this Christmas single released in 2011. It is fun, energetic, it has got sleigh bells, and shredding, and it is the perfect holiday track to give you a boost when the chaos of Christmas shopping, hectic traffic, and impending end-of-year deadlines has you feeling humbug.

“Christmas Tree” Lady Gaga and Space Cowboy

You probably will not hear this song playing in a store because its suggestive lyrics are as spicy as gingerbread cookies, but it will be blasting in clubs until January. This synth-drenched holiday pop anthem by Mother Monster is the holiday song equivalent of extra-strong spiked eggnog. And it is incredibly catchy—listen to it once, and I bet your Christmas caroling will include “The only place you’ll want to be is underneath my Christmas tree.”

If the eggnog makes you feel mischievous, sneak this track onto the playlist for your family’s Christmas party and scandalize your loved ones with the song’s innuendos about being a ho-ho-ho. 

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